i think it's just a matter of having someone to talk to that doesn't really know me. i mean i can talk to my friends until they're sick of hearing it, and it doesn't always do any good. if i'm talking to someone who has been through it or is still going through it they might understand me better. i know it's not easy, and i dont expect an overnight fix. in fact i really don't expect a fix at all...i just want someone (on the outside) to listen when i talk.

**sigh** i'm going to bed before i start to cry again

thanks for the support