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WHAT am i supposed to do NOW???
Sep. 24th, 2002 08:31 pmOK so here's the deal...
i have known this woman for 15 or so years now. i have seen her drink till she can't even stand straight and is puking all over herself and my sidewalk. she has told me so many times that she's "getting herself together" and she's "going to make her life better for herself". i have heard it till my ears hurt. this time i just told her that if she thought she could get herself together that she needs to PROVE it to me. well that pissed her off (mission accomplished) enough to make her say to me (in a 5 page note) that she didn't have to prove ANYTHING to me. that she had to prove it to herself. THAT is what i was trying to get her to say!!!JEEZUSFUCKINGH.CHRISTONACRUTCH!!!!!
she just celebrated her 36th birthday and she's finally getting the idea that maybe she needs to get herself together. it's been easy for her to just do what she wanted, but now that she's tried AA and sort of succeeded, she has so much to live for!!! i dont understand why she doesn't want to do what appears to be right by her. she had an opportunity to stay with OSH after several attempts at the job. she had one more chance. her boss was kind. he didn't have to do it, but he knows what she's going through. he's an alcoholic himself, but he won't admit to it. so after almost being fired yet again and then coming back with her tail between her legs and begging for her job back and being told no...she realized that maybe she needed to go somewhere else. this job was easy to do and easy to come back to and well you get the point. it was a crutch (her words not mine). so she gets another job and it appears to be going well. the boss there offered her full time with benefits and EVERYTHING!!! why did she turn it down??? "it's too far from home. i dont want full time because i need to go to school." WHAT??? with so many of my friends out of work and so many more people being laid off it doesn't make sense that someone would decline a job that's (actually) not that far from home and willing to give FULL TIME!!! with BENEFITS!!! ::rolls eyes:: the job was 15 miles from her home. that's not too far (in my opinion) to drive for a full time job with benefits.
so....now since all of this has happened over about 2 months and we haven't talked much since, now she asks me if i would like to go see the Bone Bash with her or see Aerosmith with her. the problem here is this...we ALWAYS went to see Aerosmith together. for like EVER!!! that was our thing. we went to one concert where Guns & Roses opened up and during one song where there's a little break in the music, we both looked up at the same time and saw a shooting star go overhead. we both looked at each other and were like "DUDE did you just see that???" that was amazing. we have always found a way to go to Aerosmith together. we even made ribbons that said Official Welcoming Committee. and at the bottom mine said "you got the right key baby" and her's said "but the wrong key hole". i would really love to go to aerosmith with her, but i dont know if i'm ready for it. it was a really really really hard break up of our friendship this time. she let me down. i know that i should just get over it, but i've been dealing with it for 15 years now. yes she's been this way the whole time i've known her. i haven't tried to change her. i've just been there for her every time she needed me. this time i couldn't do it. i am still dealing with deamons myself...i dont need to deal with someone else's!!!
::sigh:: ok i've rambled on enough here. i'm not looking for pity...what i am looking for is opinion. should i say yes to the concert? should i tell her no 'cos i'm not ready? should i just go back to being her friend with the knowledge that she'll probably relapse again and again and again???
here's hoping for answers.
"can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken, your best friend always sticking up for you...even when i know you're wrong. can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance, five hour phone conversations, the best soy latte that you ever had, and me"
i have known this woman for 15 or so years now. i have seen her drink till she can't even stand straight and is puking all over herself and my sidewalk. she has told me so many times that she's "getting herself together" and she's "going to make her life better for herself". i have heard it till my ears hurt. this time i just told her that if she thought she could get herself together that she needs to PROVE it to me. well that pissed her off (mission accomplished) enough to make her say to me (in a 5 page note) that she didn't have to prove ANYTHING to me. that she had to prove it to herself. THAT is what i was trying to get her to say!!!
she just celebrated her 36th birthday and she's finally getting the idea that maybe she needs to get herself together. it's been easy for her to just do what she wanted, but now that she's tried AA and sort of succeeded, she has so much to live for!!! i dont understand why she doesn't want to do what appears to be right by her. she had an opportunity to stay with OSH after several attempts at the job. she had one more chance. her boss was kind. he didn't have to do it, but he knows what she's going through. he's an alcoholic himself, but he won't admit to it. so after almost being fired yet again and then coming back with her tail between her legs and begging for her job back and being told no...she realized that maybe she needed to go somewhere else. this job was easy to do and easy to come back to and well you get the point. it was a crutch (her words not mine). so she gets another job and it appears to be going well. the boss there offered her full time with benefits and EVERYTHING!!! why did she turn it down??? "it's too far from home. i dont want full time because i need to go to school." WHAT??? with so many of my friends out of work and so many more people being laid off it doesn't make sense that someone would decline a job that's (actually) not that far from home and willing to give FULL TIME!!! with BENEFITS!!! ::rolls eyes:: the job was 15 miles from her home. that's not too far (in my opinion) to drive for a full time job with benefits.
so....now since all of this has happened over about 2 months and we haven't talked much since, now she asks me if i would like to go see the Bone Bash with her or see Aerosmith with her. the problem here is this...we ALWAYS went to see Aerosmith together. for like EVER!!! that was our thing. we went to one concert where Guns & Roses opened up and during one song where there's a little break in the music, we both looked up at the same time and saw a shooting star go overhead. we both looked at each other and were like "DUDE did you just see that???" that was amazing. we have always found a way to go to Aerosmith together. we even made ribbons that said Official Welcoming Committee. and at the bottom mine said "you got the right key baby" and her's said "but the wrong key hole". i would really love to go to aerosmith with her, but i dont know if i'm ready for it. it was a really really really hard break up of our friendship this time. she let me down. i know that i should just get over it, but i've been dealing with it for 15 years now. yes she's been this way the whole time i've known her. i haven't tried to change her. i've just been there for her every time she needed me. this time i couldn't do it. i am still dealing with deamons myself...i dont need to deal with someone else's!!!
::sigh:: ok i've rambled on enough here. i'm not looking for pity...what i am looking for is opinion. should i say yes to the concert? should i tell her no 'cos i'm not ready? should i just go back to being her friend with the knowledge that she'll probably relapse again and again and again???
here's hoping for answers.
"can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken, your best friend always sticking up for you...even when i know you're wrong. can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance, five hour phone conversations, the best soy latte that you ever had, and me"
