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why is the winter so difficult?

ok *this* is what's wrong with me...

Anger is a normal, human, instinctive reaction to a threatening situation. Its function is to protect us from physical, emotional, psychological harm. Family members can have distorted views of what signifies harmful behavior however, especially if they grew up in family systems where caretakers raged or suffered abuse in silence. Children intuitively know that abuse is harmful. But when they see parents tolerating such behavior children learn to do the same, becoming adult victims in their own lives, resentful and overly sensitive, who ignore the appropriate anger that surfaces in the face of abuse. On the other hand, a child whose caretakers explode can very likely adapt that response when feeling angry particularly if that anger was directed at them. In either case the underlying hurt and pain, feelings of fear, loneliness, unworthiness, of being out of control that these anger responses perpetuate continue to play out. The child born and raised in such an angry environment grows into an adult who marries and has children to whom he introduces his or her own version of these same behaviors, continuing the cycle.

yeah...that's definately what's wrong with me.

to those of you who offered help...

i have processed the refunds and you should see the money back in your account soon. should you have any problems or not see the money by wednesday, please let me know. thanks again for the offers. i wish things were different.

so it looks like i've made a good start

i asked about ACoA groups in the sfbayarea community. i've gotten quite a few responses already, and i'm hoping to be able to go to a meeting on saturday nights. it's gonna be hard going alone, 'cos ya'll know how much i like to do things alone, but i know i can do it. it's gonna be one of the best steps i've taken so far.

**sigh**

it's about lyrics right now

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE LYRICS

"The End"

Now come one come all to this tragic affair
Wipe off that makeup, what's in is despair
So throw on the black dress, mix in with the lot
You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not

If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see
You can find out firsthand what it's like to be me
So gather 'round piggies and kiss this goodbye
I'd encourage your smiles I'll expect you won't cry

Another contusion, my funeral jag
Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag
You've got front row seats to the penitence ball
When I grow up I want to be nothing at all!

I said yeah, yeah!
I said yeah, yeah!

C'mon C'mon C'mon I said
(Save me!) Get me the hell out of here
(Save me!) Too young to die and my dear
(You can't!) If you can hear me just walk away and
(Take me!)