ok *this* is what's wrong with me...

[lokizmom]

Anger is a normal, human, instinctive reaction to a threatening situation. Its function is to protect us from physical, emotional, psychological harm. Family members can have distorted views of what signifies harmful behavior however, especially if they grew up in family systems where caretakers raged or suffered abuse in silence. Children intuitively know that abuse is harmful. But when they see parents tolerating such behavior children learn to do the same, becoming adult victims in their own lives, resentful and overly sensitive, who ignore the appropriate anger that surfaces in the face of abuse. On the other hand, a child whose caretakers explode can very likely adapt that response when feeling angry particularly if that anger was directed at them. In either case the underlying hurt and pain, feelings of fear, loneliness, unworthiness, of being out of control that these anger responses perpetuate continue to play out. The child born and raised in such an angry environment grows into an adult who marries and has children to whom he introduces his or her own version of these same behaviors, continuing the cycle.

yeah...that's definately what's wrong with me.