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lokizmomwell it's been an interesting weekend already. things are going well, and i'm very happy. i'm getting my soul together to do some real changes in my life. it's not going to be easy, and if things dont go according to plan, we will go with plan b until we get to z...and then we'll go through the alphabet again.
on tuesday i have an interview with scharffen berger chocolates. it's a customer service/docent job, and it only pays 12.50/hr, but...it's a foot in the door.
saturday night i went to seidh and asked my question and thanked the person who helped me out last year. i asked if my ancestors would be there with me on tuesday, and the response was... (not a direct quote) "i see an older lady standing there...she's a big woman...and she says well of course! what has she always told you. you know the answer. you will be surrounded by many people and you know it. you have nothing to be worried about.
now...the crazy part here is...this was my father's mother...who i was never able to meet 'cos she passed away before i was born, but i always always knew she was there for me. the rosina that everyone in my family says i look like. i'm sort of surprised that i wasn't named after her actually. she's the one who always had a full kitchen and always was doing something in there. i knew that she would be there...i shouldn't have questioned it, but now that i have mental confirmation...i feel much more loved. i know that my friends will be here for me in thick and thin. sometimes i just need that psychic smack across the back of my head that says "duh!!! you are loved" when words aren't enough. when the seeres said what has she always told you...my brain said... trust in yourself and you will do well. now...she's never actually been in the physical and said that to me, but i know that i've heard it from her before. it may have been faint...but it was there. i thank the Gods and the ancestors for letting me have that moment in my life, and i thank the group that welcomed me in to the ritual also.
so....now that i'm almost in tears (again) i'm gonna put on some socks and shoes and go back into the hotel and find something to do. maybe i'll bring my computer in and do some needed work for baycon. we'll see.
thank you all for being there. thank you all for putting up with me. thank you all for being who you are.
i love you.
on tuesday i have an interview with scharffen berger chocolates. it's a customer service/docent job, and it only pays 12.50/hr, but...it's a foot in the door.
saturday night i went to seidh and asked my question and thanked the person who helped me out last year. i asked if my ancestors would be there with me on tuesday, and the response was... (not a direct quote) "i see an older lady standing there...she's a big woman...and she says well of course! what has she always told you. you know the answer. you will be surrounded by many people and you know it. you have nothing to be worried about.
now...the crazy part here is...this was my father's mother...who i was never able to meet 'cos she passed away before i was born, but i always always knew she was there for me. the rosina that everyone in my family says i look like. i'm sort of surprised that i wasn't named after her actually. she's the one who always had a full kitchen and always was doing something in there. i knew that she would be there...i shouldn't have questioned it, but now that i have mental confirmation...i feel much more loved. i know that my friends will be here for me in thick and thin. sometimes i just need that psychic smack across the back of my head that says "duh!!! you are loved" when words aren't enough. when the seeres said what has she always told you...my brain said... trust in yourself and you will do well. now...she's never actually been in the physical and said that to me, but i know that i've heard it from her before. it may have been faint...but it was there. i thank the Gods and the ancestors for letting me have that moment in my life, and i thank the group that welcomed me in to the ritual also.
so....now that i'm almost in tears (again) i'm gonna put on some socks and shoes and go back into the hotel and find something to do. maybe i'll bring my computer in and do some needed work for baycon. we'll see.
thank you all for being there. thank you all for putting up with me. thank you all for being who you are.
i love you.
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no subject
Date: 2007-02-19 05:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-20 09:08 pm (UTC)Dude, you are soooo going to get that job.